These days I find I am moving from routine to routine without much thought, anxiety or rushing. I'm just simply a space for everything to happen in, kind of like energy that observes things and lets them come and go. I would define this as nothingness but not in a desperate way of wanting to fill a void or something. It feels like everything happens in a straight line with no ups and downs, I'm simply there to experience it. I do meet new people and enjoy socializing, but I don't find myself in sustaining relationships with them. Today sitting in the car with my ex I didn't feel any tension of awkwardness. It was like 2 energies coming together and conversing about life.
We agreed that one's existence doesn't revolve around finding a partner, we should fill ourselves first. Too much of everything gets tiring anyway.
I think a part of me died in the past that I needed to get rid of. I'm not tied down or dependent on anyone anymore, yet I am more peaceful and happier than ever..
My own solitude is so enjoyable that people right now simply can't conquer it.