Lately I've been thinking about about how I relationship with everyone in my life is like train tracks. At certain times we pass each other, or even go down the same direction. Sometimes we split shortly after into opposite directions, sometimes we go in the same direction together for a long time.
And sometimes, we go in the opposite direction, only to find our way back to each other again. I could feel the immense importance of seemingly insignificant events or conversations. Those shift our directions without us knowing. I love the idea that with any given situation, there are infinite outcomes, but yet somehow we are living in the outcome that is currently existing. And I love to imagine the fact that, there are probably infinite copies of me in slight variations existing in other universes. Sometimes I wonder how parallel universe me is doing. Where do I live, who am I dating, what do I like to do? Or am I doing much worse than now?
I was listening to a podcast today, and it talked about what we are certain of at any given point. For example, I know the pillow I am laying on is real. But how do I know that? What do I really know about anything? The podcast says the only thing we are sure of is our consiousness and existence in the present moment. Therefore, if I don't even know if the pillow I'm laying on is real, how on earth can I expect anything to be concrete? When I was younger, I would plan what my life would be like at 25, 30 etc. But I remind myself now that, RELAX! Everythings out of control! My train could easily take a opposite direction again with another, but does that mean journey is over? No, I'm heading some place new.
Sometimes I think about why everything is rooted in fear. Job security, losing money, losing status, losing boyfriend. Than when we are not worried about losing, we are worried about gaining them. Why do we have a scarcity mindset and not an abundant mindset? But honestly, if we look at our lives, we can see how many times our train has changed direction already. Maybe there is no right track. Maybe we can be free of fear & accept whichever direction life takes, because at any given point of life, who knows where we are headed!
