By Cathy H - 9:40 PM

I forgot to post this from last month-I always loved doing voice overs- and when I first heard Lana's voice over for "RIDE" I fell in love immediately because something about this block of words was so nostalgic and bittersweet..the way she said every word just gave this song its uniqueness and life. There's something special about doing voice overs  in the process you make it your own with the different tones and pauses- in the end you begin realizing you are speaking about your own experiences and bringing those emotions to life. I think this monologue is descriptive of me as a person, especially the indecisiveness and restlessness that I experience on a consistent basis. Most people settle for a set schedule and find someone nice to share every moment with- they play by the rules and play it safe. But me... even if circumstances are dangerous and against everything I've been warned about- I gladly dive into them just to make that piece of experience my own. After all, no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep. Even if something hurt me or wasn't good for me in a conventional way- at least I felt it with all I had.

""I was in the winter of my life- and the men I met along the road were my
only summer. At night I fell sleep with visions of myself dancing and
laughing and crying with them. Three years down the line of being on an
endless world tour and my memories of them were the only things that
sustained me, and my only real happy times. I was a singer, not very
popular one, I once has dreams of becoming a beautiful poet- but upon an
unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like
million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again-
sparkling and broken. But I didn't really mind it because I knew that it
takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what
true freedom is.

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had
been living- they asked me why. But there's no use in talking to people who
have a home, they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other
people, for home to be wherever you lied you head.

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon
soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an
inner indecisiveness that was as wide as wavering as the ocean. And if I
said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying- because I
was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to
everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every
experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that
I couldn't even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness
that both dazzled and dizzied me.

Every night I used to pray that I'd find my people- and finally I did- on
the open road. We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired
anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art.

Live fast. Die young. Be wild. Have fun.

I believe in the country America used to be. I believe in the person I want
to become, I believe in the freedom of the open road. And my motto is the
same as ever:

"I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I'm at war with myself, I
Ride. I Just Ride."

Who are you? Are you in touch with all your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you're free to experience them?
I Have.
I Am Fucking Crazy. But I Am Free."

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