Resilience
By Cathy H - 9:33 PM
I don't know what I'm missing but it feels like I'm missing something and all I do is think,think,think. I've read all those peace books but it doesn't help me at all because I don't know how to slow down my mind.
I feel like I always need something to sustain...something to stay perfect and everlasting. Something that proves it won't leave. And I find myself waking up at wee hours of dawn reminiscing on old memories, wishing to relive while months, turn back time, be loved and given attention to, and always having someone there.
I do have people, but not in the sense of others with a steady connection and support circle, or does everyone feel this way? I find myself thinking "why did I worry at that point..they were still here and it was still good" and maybe in the future I'll find myself thinking back to this point when everything's going good. Im tired of thinking, if I could just be in a coma and blank out .. sometimes things are just so mundane and meaningless I have now energy to even get up.
And knowing this emptiness is everrgrowing I would just like to be a peace ...
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