Korea is Sinking In: The Difficult Week
By Cathy H - 4:15 AM
Let me just start off by saying that the past month has been amazing. The past month as felt like a dream as I've visited countless new scenery..spoken with friends from all over the world. Felt near death at times waking up for lectures at 8am. I think because of this, the fact that I'm actually HERE hasn't sunk in yet till I officially moved to my apartment this week. The past month, I've been surrounded by multiple support systems of friends, coordinators, and staff that have made everything transition as smoothly as possible. This week, I officially met my school and my students. They have been great but a little rowdy as expected. Aside from getting lost once and panicking hard..everything else has been going smoothly.
Let me just list off the positive things before going into why this is the "difficult week." I got a great placement in Cheongdo, which is 1 hour from Busan and 30 minutes away from Daegu. I am so close to both metropolitan cities, while some of my peers have been placed in very small towns where visiting anywhere is a chore. I have about 5 other english teachers, 2 from my generation that live 10-15 minutes away from me. I have a big apartment with actual furniture while others don't even have a bed. I have working internet most of all, which I expected to not happen until a month later.
But that sinking feeling has officially arrived. The sinking feeling of knowing I've officially involved myself in something for a long period of time. The feeling of missing /home/ or something I can't quite put a finger on. The feeling of realizing that no matter where I "escape" to, even being on the other side of the world- I am still the same person at the end of the day. That it won't be all excitement and good times. That I'll be coming home to an empty room all by myself at the end of the day for the next year. And the most ironic part to this is, this life is exactly what I wanted prior to coming here..but now what I am getting the "sinking feeling" over. I'm missing all the little things in my old life. I used to dread coming home to my entire family talking and watching TV, but now I miss the hustle and bustle of it all. I miss the orientation days where I'd go downstairs to 50 people chilling in the lounge. Now, going into my empty dark living room serves as a reminder that this is it, I'm alone! I think the biggest lesson I learned so far is that nothing in this world can really satisfy me. Even with all the positive things, my mind still desires for more and better. Still dwells on the negatives. Maybe that's just me as a person?
I hope in the next couple of months, life will eventually settle into routine and I'll get used to this. But the early stages or "difficult week" is really getting to me at the moment. I'm currently sitting in my room alone, listening to music and thinking of all this. I miss Vancouver a lot too surpringly, the city which I've been wanting to escape forever. For my friends, the people that actually understand english, the beautiful view outside my house, the familiarity of it all. Best of luck to me I can adapt...I'm sure things will get better in time.
1 comments
i hope you settle into new life soon
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