Significance and Insignifance

12:17 AM


It's strange thinking back to all the events, people and places I been to until this point in my life. To some people- I was inept, worthless, and inadequate. To some people, I was there entire world and they once said they couldn't live without me. Some genuinely loved my presence connected well with me. Some completely didn't understand what I was about and would dismiss me. I think this leads me to the conclusion that I don't really know myself, because there is no solid self. I present different sides of me to everyone, some are good and bad qualities but at the end of the day it doesn't make me a better or shittier person. I think one purpose of life is finding out who I am. I know people say that in all these books and inspirational hipster movies, but I think as I grow older I am finding out who I am more and more. Sometimes I don't like what I see, sometimes I love the progression I see. Sometimes I just want to shrink back, cease to exist. I think its all a part of what it's like to be living. I would like to believe that life is giving me the people and things that I need exactly to experience what I need, and that god is kind to me. I think despite all the things I did, he is still by my side because even though I lost so many important people along the way- he never let me be truly alone. There was always someone by my side, to make me feel significant when everything seems so insignificant. It's just so strange thinking to the multitude of different meanings that I hold for people I meet. Some will be with me a long time, others a short while...it's so weird. Like I'm living several lives of different skits while still being me...sometimes it can be quite overwhelming but also so straightforward and simple at the same time.

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