First Impressions
- old Jerusalem vibes
-holy crap the tannery smells horrific
-how do people work there?
-bless my job now
-wow at all this gold
-this could be a movie set
The first time I experienced VR was through a free 10 minute demo at a store, I played a game and flew around in Google Maps up and down tall New York skyscrapers. Tonight, after hearing a talk from the creative director of Microsoft and two start up companies I really understand the meaning of VR and how technology will shape our lives in the future. I understand VR & AR as not a source of entertainment but as a tool that helped evoke empathy. The examples given included the possible scenarios:
- experiencing what it felt like to be a transgendered teen in a rural town
- experiencing the effects of bullying as if you were the victim
- being virtually transported to an garbage island to see the extent of environmental damage
- allowing patients to understand their diagnosis by having an 4D view
Those points stood out to me not from a point of practically, but from an emotional perspective because alot of these experiences would be extremely costly or physically impossible to stimulate in real life without consequences. There's been alot of talk about how technology is taking over the world, but I think it would be used towards a good cause in the future. And I don't think our society will ever stop progressing. Yes, VR and AR can replace repetitive manual jobs in the future but at the same time, can offer many solutions to topics such as empathy. And as the speakers said, just describing VR is difficult, to show someone the true value of the program, they have to fully immerse themselves in it. This was a great point, like "walking in someone's shoes" quite literally.
And perhaps that would be the future for events and TED talks. To give guests or decision makers the opportunity to experience "the day in the life" of an minority, or an place of concern. This talk was truly inspirational.
And perhaps that would be the future for events and TED talks. To give guests or decision makers the opportunity to experience "the day in the life" of an minority, or an place of concern. This talk was truly inspirational.
"Well I'm dying..." *sips coffee* "faster than everyone else, that is". Those are the first words I heard from this girl a few years ago when I came across her Youtube video. Than I found out she passed away this week. I followed her journey with cystic fibrosis here and there, listening to her TED Talks and following her all the way to her final moments on Instagram. The impact of her words have inspired me as much as a Dalai Lama book, because to me they were such simple truths about life. It embodied everything I read about but failed to put into practice all these years. In the perspective of happiness, Claire said that happiness is purely an release of dopamine, a chemical process. And that life is is more often than not, extremely mundane and routine. One of my favorite concepts she talks about is this concept of viewing problems as neutral. That there is no "fairness god" in this world giving out easy rides to anyone. And I remembered one of her TED talks:
"There's this awesome saying that I love that you will never truly get what you want until you want what you have. And, you know, at first, I didn't really like that saying because I'm like, "wait -- no, no, no -- I don't want what I have -- you know you want to have more! Right? You don't like want what you have. That's like messed up. But when you start thinking about it, when you ... no matter what you have, you're always going to be wanting to have something more. It's kind of human nature."
About wanting more than this. Wanting more than this job, this car, this house, this problem, that problem, this illness. And what I've been trying to tell myself and people for years is there is no final destination. There's only one day at a time. There is no elusive level of life that puts you in an automatic state of bliss, no matter what. And to me, she really helped clarify the "no matter what" part. That in this very moment, nothing bad is actually happening. And that should be enough, because if our minds kept hurrying to the next day, next month, next year, before we know it we are at the end of life wondering why we are still unsatisfied.
"Right in this moment, we are here together. Right this second it's great."
So instead of asking, what ELSE should I have that I don't? Where else can I struggle harder to achieve that I haven't got to yet? The question is, this is what I have and what can I do with it?
1. "Sometimes love is not enough, and the road gets tough I don't know why": This line of Lana Del Rey lyrics have carried me through for the past few years, what a realization this is In my personal life and experiences of those around me, I understand now that love is much more beyond our control than we think. We have bad days, we grow differently, bad decisions get made, trust is broken. That doesn't mean love disappears. Love is there, but that is not enough to keep it together.
2. Fairness is Not Guranteed: I'm going to quote my favorite terminally ill Youtuber, Claire Wineland in her end stages of Cystic Fibrosis (is it weird that she is one of my thought idols?)
- “I think it’s important to say that just because something’s supposed to be what you’re doing, doesn’t mean it’s going to feel good. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to feel like fucking rainbows and butterflies. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to feel decent. Like it might actually be the most painful thing you could possibly do.
And I think that’s where everyone gets it wrong. I think we are kind of raised to believe that the best thing to do is the easiest thing to do. Or that the best thing to do is the thing that’s going to make you happiest. And I think it’s actually backwards. I think a lot of times the best thing to do in life is the thing that’s going to make you miserable. Or is the thing that hurts and is difficult, and is hard to do, because it actually DEMANDS something of you. Right? Like being happy in a certain sense, is such a flaccid emotion. It’s so passing and fleeting and weak, you know what I mean? It comes at the most random times, sometimes because of nothing, and it’s just dopamine in your system you know?
But fundamentally, like giving something of yourself and showing up for life, that actually takes a lot out of you. And anything that takes a lot out of you.
“None of this is easy. Getting things threaded in my wrist while I’m like starving and like half asleep and have a migraine and nearly like passing out on an operating table is not easy. But that also doesn’t mean that it’s the bad decision. It also doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong decision. I think that a lot of times, the things that are worth doing in life are gonna require a lot of pain and a lot of suffering. And I think that’s what makes them worth doing. You know? Like nothing that’s lasting and nothing that’s real is easy."
And this got me thinking about my own attitude towards life. In my 20s I always hoped for the easy way out. Just date someone nice and get that man to support me (I thought like this when I was 20). What else could go wrong right? Just leave the country for a bit, maybe forever and start fresh. Than right now, as I'm typing this after 14 hours of straight work a little voice in my head is screaming "everyone shut up!! Do you know how I feel?? I'm dying inside!!"
Taking a breathe feels weird because there are so many things I have to do. I feel like a iPhone running on 5% charge when the screen starts dimming. But underneath all this, I realize how much I've accomplished so far. This week alone I've went through my first official networking event and I now that 5 industry leads. I'm basically completing 80% of an report all alone, when the work was supposed to be split between 4 people. I've moved out, distanced myself from my narcissistic mother, and continued my 14 hour days for the past 5 months, on top of this I paid my entire tuition. Nothing I've done this year is easy or convenient. And when I look back at every notable moment, those were the ones that materialized after hours or months of frustration. So yes, life is unfair and what I'm beginning to realize is that it is perfectly normal to struggle and that life is HARD.
3. Success is Not Linear: Success if not linear because we are not given equal opportunities since birth. And everyone grows up in a different environment. More often than not, people do not have their finances or career goals set all the way into their 30s. I always envisioned a straight timeline when I was younger, but now from speaking to people my age and double my age, this is not the case.
4. Nothing is Bad as Expected: As a hypochondriac and anxiety driven person, I always imagine the worst possible outcome. Like I could envision myself frozen in fear, getting lost, failing, being reprimanded for hours on end. Actually I learned that just going into anything and being in the moment, nothing is ever as bad as the "what if". I showed up, I tried my best, I'm reaching out, I'm just going for it. Nothing more, nothing less.
5. If You say Nothing, the answer is always NO: If I don't stand up for myself, no matter the issue, the other party will always assume I'm fine with it. If I don't ask, the answer is 100% no. That goes hand in hand with giving my best, because what else is there to do beyond that? And as for rejection, somehow this doesn't impact my self image as much as before. I know what I'm worth, what I stand for, what I have to offer. If I put this is marketing terms, I know my own unique value preposition. No is still not nice to hear, but its easier once you know what you want, and what you stand for.
Lately I've been thinking about about how I relationship with everyone in my life is like train tracks. At certain times we pass each other, or even go down the same direction. Sometimes we split shortly after into opposite directions, sometimes we go in the same direction together for a long time.
And sometimes, we go in the opposite direction, only to find our way back to each other again. I could feel the immense importance of seemingly insignificant events or conversations. Those shift our directions without us knowing. I love the idea that with any given situation, there are infinite outcomes, but yet somehow we are living in the outcome that is currently existing. And I love to imagine the fact that, there are probably infinite copies of me in slight variations existing in other universes. Sometimes I wonder how parallel universe me is doing. Where do I live, who am I dating, what do I like to do? Or am I doing much worse than now?
I was listening to a podcast today, and it talked about what we are certain of at any given point. For example, I know the pillow I am laying on is real. But how do I know that? What do I really know about anything? The podcast says the only thing we are sure of is our consiousness and existence in the present moment. Therefore, if I don't even know if the pillow I'm laying on is real, how on earth can I expect anything to be concrete? When I was younger, I would plan what my life would be like at 25, 30 etc. But I remind myself now that, RELAX! Everythings out of control! My train could easily take a opposite direction again with another, but does that mean journey is over? No, I'm heading some place new.
Sometimes I think about why everything is rooted in fear. Job security, losing money, losing status, losing boyfriend. Than when we are not worried about losing, we are worried about gaining them. Why do we have a scarcity mindset and not an abundant mindset? But honestly, if we look at our lives, we can see how many times our train has changed direction already. Maybe there is no right track. Maybe we can be free of fear & accept whichever direction life takes, because at any given point of life, who knows where we are headed!
